maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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