i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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