There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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