Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The adults are the big ones right?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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