just come out here and I will go home with you...
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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