Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize