i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Two words: nipple clamps
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