I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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