I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
