You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
