i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
