I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize