1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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