i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize