Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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