Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
