I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
