After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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