Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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