She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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