Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Why is your signature on my underwear?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
