my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
