I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize