Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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