this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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