If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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