Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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