so explain again why im purple
no
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
