dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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