he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just had sex on a roof
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
