Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
