We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
operation have a gay friend backfired
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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