So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
