Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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