remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I wish there were birth control emojis
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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