I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
