I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
