All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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