he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
