I'm jealous of your bromance
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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