My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
