I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
