would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
