everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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