No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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