oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
