I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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