Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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