I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
