Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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