This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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