If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize