Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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