dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.