WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
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just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
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Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.