I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
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he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
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I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness