Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party