I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
