tell your sister to shave her snatch
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
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she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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