Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
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I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The feeling are messing with the penis
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i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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