i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
