3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
